Black Ink and Plain Paper
by StuckInTheShire
Summary: Kili turned to face the blond, a thunderous look on his face as he brought his hand to the page and crumpled it. Though it was almost impossible to ignore the feeling of blood burning his cheeks. 'Who was it for' Fili asked. 'None of your business.'
1. Chapter I - Brothers

_Roses are Red. Violets are..._

Too generic.

_My heart beats only for the beauty of you. I love you more than the moon loves the sun..._

Too much.

_Your face is like an angel, I have been secretly admiring you from afar..._

Stalker like.

Kili groaned as he hurled the piece of paper across the room, glaring as he heard the familiar thump of it hitting the wall. Why the hell was this so hard? He closed his eyes as he tried to picture the young maiden's face.

_Fair maiden to my heart, you voice is as sweet as a thrush's song..._

Just plain weird.

''What have you got there, little brother?'' Kili looked up suddenly, shaking his head to hide the sudden blush that crept over his cheeks as he covered the page. Fili stood, leaning over his brother's shoulder, a small, smug smile on his face. The dark haired dwarf brought his hand to the page and crumpled before Fili could ask again, the blush deepening.

''It's nothing.'' Fili raised his eye brow. ''Don't look at me like that.'' The brunet glared as he stood, picking up the page and walking over to the others before turning to the fire and throwing the crumbled pages into the crackling flames.

''Wait.'' Fili leapt over to his brother, a sudden concerned expression on his face. ''What you doing? What was that?'' Kili shook his head.

''I said it doesn't matter.'' Fili dropped his gaze. Forcing his face to stay straight as he sudden realised what his brother must have been doing.

''Poetry is highly over rated.'' He said as he walked over to the bed and sat down, crossing his legs underneath him as he did. Kili turned to face the blond, a thunderous look on his face.

''How-'' Fili tapped his nose, grinning widely. ''You had better not be mocking me.'' Kili gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the feeling of blood rushing to his cheeks. Maybe if he ignored it, Fili won't notice it.  
''Not at all.''

''You are!'' Kili stomped back over to the desk chair and threw himself down into the wooden seat, refusing to look at this brother's face.

''I said I wasn't.'' The dark haired dwarf turned enough to show his brother his unconvinced expression but quickly looked back at the wall, trying to ignore the feeling of his brother's eyes burning in the back of his head. ''So,'' Fili said, ''Who was it for?''

''None of your business.'' Kili snapped before he could stop himself. Fili raised his eye brows again and threw his hands up defensively as his brother fumed.

''Sorry. I just wondered.'' The dark haired rolled his eyes and sighed. Damn you Fili.

''This girl.'' He shrugged. ''She lives down in the village-''

''A human?'' Fili asked

''No. She is dwarf. She has lives with her father down in the village, and works with him in the market.''

''Of course.'' Kili turned and glared at his brother.

''What's that meant to mean?'' Kili said defensively.

''Nothing. It's not meant to mean anything.'' Fili sighed and waved his hand to prompt his brother to continue. Though Kili blushed and gritted his teeth again, he continued to talk.

''She was just sat there - business was obviously slow. She was selling...I forget what. I can remember her face...her voice... but not what she was selling.'' Kili's gaze was far off and a small smile crept onto his face, so he didn't notice when his brother's face flickered with a strange expression.

''She just sat there and when I walked over she look at me. I went to buy whatever it was she was selling, something for Ma I think ... but she stood. She stood for me, Fili. But her father walked over but I didn't hear anything he said. She blushed when she saw me looking at her-''

''Yeah I would too if I saw that'' Fili gestured to his brothers face. ''Starting at me.''

''...and turned but it was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen.''

''Ah, young love.'' Fili said as he grinned widely at his brothers sudden softness.

''You're only jealous.'' Kili said as he stuck his tongue out. It wasn't fair, thought Kili. Why did his brother constantly have to take the piss out of him?

"For what? The fact that you were too scared to even talk to her?''

"That's why am I'm writing to her!'' An evil grin crossed Fili's face and his eyes glinted with mischief.

''Now we're getting somewhere. Now you are actually admitting the fact that you were writing poetry.''

''I was not-''

''Roses are red, Violets are blue. My name is Kili and I couldn't to talk to you.'' Kili glared, his eyes narrowing threateningly at his brother as his face flushed again. ''Oh my darling, I have come tonight to serenade you in the moon light of your beauty. However I am too afraid, I shall have to write my words in fear of you never hearing what I say.'' Fili stood, exaggerating his movements as he threw his arms into the air. ''Kili, my darling.'' He leaped to his brother, pretending to faint into his arms, casting an arm over his forehead, as he forced his voice unnaturally high. ''How your words lift my heart. I feel it, all a pitter and a patter.''

''You should stop before you injure yourself.'' Kili said, his jaw hard as he gave his brother yet another murderous glare. At this point, Fili was thanking Mahal that looks could not kill, for if they could Fili would of been seriously ill.

''Oh my darling, how kind of you to concern yourself over little, old me.''

''_Little_ being the precise word.'' Fili gasped, and drew away from his brothers arms.

''You don't play fair.'' He said as he fluttered his eyelashes. ''Love shall tie us together in an unbreakable bond. No harsh words can break it.''

''Sometimes I really hate you.'' Kili said, though his mouth twitched upwards into a smile. ''I hope you realize you look ridiculous.''

''Not as much as you must have, dear brother.'' Kili stuck his tongue out before looking down at the blank page before him.

''So?'' He said plainly. None of this had solved his original problem. He still didn't know what the hell to right to this girl and all that he had achieved from that conversation was being made a fool of by his elder brother. ''What should I write?'' He asked.

Fili's face dropped like a stone. He had been counting on distracting Kili enough so he could have his fun and then leave him be without having that question asked. But that didn't look like it was going to happen now.

''You said girls don't like poetry? So, what do they like?'' Fili dropped his gaze. How the hell was he supposed to know what girls liked? He hadn't been out with anyone other than one and that had been a disaster. A snigger brought Fili's attention back. ''You don't know, do you?'' Kili didn't even attempt to hide the look of triumph plastered across his face.

''Well-''

''You have no idea!''

''Well nor do you.'' The blond said past the sniggers from his brother.

''I wasn't the one who gave you all this crap and pretended to though, was I?'' There was a long pause as Fili looked away, not willing to answer as he knew he would end up digging himself further into the hole.

''So,'' he started. ''What you going to do?''

''What are _we_ going to do?'' Kili corrected. ''After all that, you are helping me now if you like it or not. I swear to you Fili that this is going to be the best love letter anyone has ever written. And you are not getting out of it.''

A strange expression crossed Fili's face again. He glared, before grinning widely and giving a small laugh.

''You know what?''

''What?''

''Let's ask Uncle Thorin, shall we?''

**...erm...may you please review? **

**Thank you so much for reading this, once again it means so much to me that I can't even explain and a review to tell me how to improve would be the most amazing thing in the world c: I hope you enjoyed this less angsty fanfiction, it was really difficult to write but luckily it is now complete. Hopefully some more soon (planning a next chapter to this one so hopefully that will come true. - Some **embarrassed!Thorin** action XD **

**Enjoy and thank you again**


	2. Chapter II - Consulting Uncles

**A/N - Well this was harder than first anticipated but it's finally done. I hope you like it, and enjoy the embarrassment and awkwardness of three clueless dwarves try and write a love letter for a woman they have never spoken to. Please review if you have the time and thank you so much for reading this! It means a lot C: **

''L...love letters?''

Within Thorin's mind, the alarm bells had begun ringing. He chocked, throwing smoke and ash out from his mouth as

the shock of the brothers question forced him into a coughing fit. His two nephews stood in front of him, the look of idolism clear in their twin grins.

What the hell did they just ask him? Love letters? Where they really asking him for advice on romance?

''Yes uncle.'' Kili said, hopefully. He smiled at his uncle, nervously fiddling with the edge of the page and the quill he had in his hands.

Hold up there Kili, thought Thorin. What made them think he knew anything about this topic? He didn't. Thorin could count the amount of love letters he had ever written on one hand and the amount of them that were successful. Well, he didn't really think about that. Romance was never his strong point, hence the reason why he was still single at his age and childless. Although when it came down to it, he didn't really mind. Yes, it had been fun when he was younger, chasing after romantic suggestions with his brother at his side, but after Frerin passed away none of that interested him. Family was important, however he much rather be part of his sister's than have one of his own.

''Er,'' Thorin cleared his throat as he fidgeted in his arm chair. ''What part do you actually need help with?'' He tried again, forcing calmness into his voice although a million mental alarms were loudly going off in his head.

''If we said the entire thing?''

''You say. This is at no point mine.'' Fili pointed out, though he made no indication of moving or leaving the conversation.

All of it Thorin, his mind screamed at him as the elder dwarf continued to stare at his nephews. _All of it._

''Well. All you need is...a beginning bit. A nice ending and then something to put in the middle of it all.''

The two boys looked at one another, Fili raising an eye brow as they both forced a straight face. Thorin's cheeks flushed with both embarrassment and anger as he lifted his head and gaze.

''You need my help or don't you?'' Both dwarves' expressions dropped at the sound of their uncles hard voice. They nodded in sync, relieved to see Thorin's expression soften as he rearranged his sitting position in the arm chair.

''Okay, start with something that will make her feel good. Like a compliment.'' The three male dwarves paused for a while, searching their brains for something that would stick out to them as something a member of the opposite sex would want to hear. ''How about, To dearest - what's her name, Kili?'' Thorin asked, waving his hand for a prompt from his youngest nephew.

''Er,'' Kili paused, blushing a deep shade of red before turning his gaze away from the staring eyes of his brother and uncle. ''The thing is...I don't actually know her name.''

''Oh Mahal, Kili! You don't even know her name?'' Fili threw his hands in the air, grinning widely as he noticed how his comment had increased the colour of his brother's cheeks even more.

''It's fine. It's fine.'' Thorin said quickly, waving his hand. They would do well to avoid a fight on his nephews behalf, and Thorin already knew they were treading dangerous ground. Kili could take any amount of teasing from his brother normally, but if he was truly seriously about this girl it wouldn't take long before his patients wore thin and

Thorin would be dealing with an outright battle between siblings. ''Okay then. Let's start it something like 'Dear beautiful maiden.''' The two brothers sat themselves on the floor as their uncle spoke. Kili leaning over to scribble words down on his plain parchment, the black ink seeping slowing into the page.

''Dear my beautiful maiden?'' Fili suggested, though Thorin shook his head.

''No, no. Sounds like he's already claiming her. '' The dark haired dwarf nodded and scribbled out the added word he had already put down suggested by his brother.

''So, what's next? '' Kili asked, looking up expectantly at his uncle.

''The middle bit.'' The silence returned. Each dwarf reviewing silently each possible variation of a sentence. Occasionally a light chuckle from either Fili or Thorin would sound, indicating the slightly less serious tone they were taking. A few minutes had past when,

''How should I put this?'' Fili whispered, his gaze at his feet, a slight blush on his cheeks. Both Thorin and Kili turned to him, waiting for the sentence for them to review. '' How should I put this? I do not know how to put my words... as every time I think of you my mind is blown away.'' He drew in a breath. '' Blown away like the hundreds of delicate seeds on a dandelion.'' Kili was down, leaning over and scribbling again.

''Keep going, Fili.'' He prompted but Fili looked up his face blank.

''What? I have no more.'' A sigh erupted from both Kili and Thorin in sync, making Fili throw up his arms in defence.

''Look, sorry.'' He said, glaring at his brother.

''It's fine, Fili.'' Thorin said, turning to Kili. ''What colour hair does she have?''

''Blonde. Like Fili's.''

'' Your hair reminds me of the gold of Erebor.'' Thorin said, '' however all gold in Erebor could not buy your beauty, and I promise to protect you from any dragon wishing to steal your loveliness.'' Kili nodded, a grin appearing on his face again. The two older dwarves sat in silence as the youngest of their company scribbled down what had just be said in

his barely allegeable hand.

''This is good.'' He smiled up at his uncle, mentally laughing to himself. He knew Erebor would have cropped up. He could of bet on it. His uncle was proud of the home that had been stolen from him, not that it amused Kili that his apposed 'kingdom' had been taken however it amused him to see how even now, over seventy years after the incident his uncle, the proud Thorin Oakenshield, could still not go a conversation without bringing it up.

''How about something like,'' Thorin said once he was sure his youngest nephew was finished scribbling. He racked his brains for something to say, something that would sound young and would also appeal to the romantic atmosphere Kili was trying to create. ''...You are small and so petite, and very sweet.'' Thorin cringed slightly at the sentence, however was surprised to see his nephews nodded and Kili leaning down to write. ''So delicate and graceful, your stunning beauty astounds me.''

''How long does it have to be?'' Fili asked. Thorin shrugged. Maybe it was a little long winded. But girls liked words, he was sure of it and the fact that he could barely remember anything he used to say to his previous romantic interests was not helping him. He didn't know anymore, and to be honest with himself, he hadn't known to start with.

''Maybe you should round it off nicely with something about her eyes. They like it when you talk about their eyes.''

Thorin said, remembering that one compliment he had said to one of his lovers during their time in Erebor. ''Something like, 'Your eyes sparkle like a thousand jewels, please allow me to gaze into them for all eternity.''

''Gaze into the sea of your beauty though the day, and throughout the night.'' Kili said as he continued to scribble the words down, quickly.

''I will watch sun rises and sun sets, however none of these will even compare to you'' Thorin added, quickly.

''How about finishing it with, 'I wish to hear your voice, your beautiful eyes and pray every night for you to allow me see you again.'''

''I would consider it a gift from the heavens if I would be allowed to formally introduce myself to you.'' Fili said.

Kili nodded again. As he continued to write, Thorin looked curiously over to see what his nephew was doing, lowering his eyebrows in confusion.

''and I pray you do not find this an odd letter, I found my heart not allowing me to not tell you my true feelings. Until we meet...'' Kili read, lifting the page and admiring their work. ''Kili.''

Thorin leaned back in his chair, and drew a deep breath from his pipe again. They were done. He felt himself blush again and moved his arm to scratch his beard to hide the fact. Why had he just done that? It was embarrassing enough to know that his nephew was trying to attract the girl without helping. The lad didn't even know the girl's name never mind if she liked him or not. He mentally groaned as the sudden realization of the effects the letter might have took hold. What if she was already involved with someone other than Kili?

''Very well.'' He said, turning away from the conversation. That had exhausted him and he did not care to play any other part in it. Now his main concern was not of the letter or the girl's reaction to it, it was if anyone made the connection that he had helped with it.

For if Dwalin found out, he would _never _live it down.


	3. Chapter III - The Letter

_Dear (my) beautiful maiden,_

_How should I put this? I do not know how to put my words... as every time I think of you my mind is blown away. Blown away like the hundreds of delicate seeds on a dandelion._

_Your hair reminds me of the gold of Erebor, however all gold in Erebor could not buy your beauty, and I promise to protect you from any dragon wishing to steal your loveliness._

_You are small and so petite, and very sweet. So delicate and graceful, your stunning beauty estounds me. Your eyes sparkle like a thousand jewels, please allow me to gaze into them for all eternity. Gaze into the sea of your beauty though the day, and through the night. I will watch sun rises and sun sets, however none of these will even compare to you._

_I wish to hear your voice, your beautiful eyes and pray every night for you to allow me see you again._

_I would consider it a gift from the heavens if I would be allowed to formally introduce myself to you , and I pray you do not find this an odd letter, I found my heart not allowing me to not tell you my true feelings._

_Until we meet..._

_Kili._

Perfect.

Kili smiled to himself as he sealed the envelope and leaned back in his chair. He would make some excuse to go to the market tomorrow and hopefully slip this letter to her without anyone noticing. Romantic and smooth, he thought with a smile. He could do that.

**A/N Wow thank you so much! I really just wanted to submit the full finished letter for you to read and give Kili come closure with it. I hope you like it, and if you have the time to review the story, it would really mean a lot to me and help me out. Thank you for sticking with this story and I hope to do some more soon. **

**Thank you! **


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